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The moment is burned into Celty's eyes. She doesn't think she'll ever forget it.
It had been a normal day. Tsubomi had been getting better. She was feeling safer. For the first time in the three years they'd known each other, she told Celty she could go to work on the anniversary of the mansion fire. She hadn't been entirely happy that morning, but excited. She said she'd pick up groceries for dinner before Celty got home and she'd planned one of their shared favorite meals.
Celty had wanted to surprise her. Come home early, pick her up from the grocery store. Cook dinner together. It sounded like a good night--a way to keep an eye on Tsubomi while making it seem like she wasn't worried. It was the only way for Tsubomi to accept her concern. And she liked the way Tsubomi smiled when they cooked together. She was so happy.
Celty was waiting at the corner when Tsubomi came out of the supermarket. She didn't notice her mother there as she waited for the light to turn. Of course, she wasn't looking as the cars zoomed by. Just waiting for her own light to turn, Celty waited as patiently as she could.
And then a hand came from the crowd behind Tsubomi. A taller boy, standing only feet away, pushed as hard as he could.
And Celty will remember Tsubomi's terrified face as she fell foward, dropping her groceries. Her eyes are wide. She does everything she can to stop herself from moving but there's nothing she can do.
There's only a moment of complete terror before the truck hits her.
Celty is frozen for only a millisecond after Tsubomi stumbles. And then she screams, drowned out by the screech of the truck's breaks, urging her bike forward, traffic be damned. Just those few feet. She throws herself from it to her feet, only to hit the ground and pull Tsubomi into her arms.
But it's too late. They both know it as Tsubomi stares up, her face still frozen in shock. Her eyes are dull before Celty can even utter a reassurance.
She sits straight up in bed, gasping. The clock reads midnight in its bright red numbers. She has to get up and check on Tsubomi. She's asleep in the room next door. Celty shakes her head as she goes back to sleep. What a nightmare.
She resolves to show up to the store earlier. Just because of how badly that dream scared her. She can see Tsubomi at the register. She smiles with a wave when Tsubomi sees her. She loves the way her daughter lights up whenever she shows up by surprise.
Her happiness only lasts a brief moment before there's a commotion inside and Tsubomi whips around in shock. Celty sees him too late. The boy in black, holding a gun. It's trained on Tsubomi and Tsubomi alone. Before anyone else can move to stop him, he's squeezing the trigger and Tsubomi is crumpling. The cashiers can only try to hold her back as she rushes the store, screaming about her baby.
12 again. Celty clutches her chest and tries to insist on staying home today. But Tsubomi won't have it. She wants to be strong enough to get through August 15th.
So instead, Celty tails her. All day. As stealthily as she can. She follows Tsubomi to the park where she thinks it can best be described that they actually became a family.
She's sick when she sees the boy in black again. He approaches without fear, whispering something in Tsubomi's ear. She turns, as if she's scanning the area for Celty, but freezes when Celty approaches.
"Mom..." she whispers. Her voice is scared. How many times has Celty heard that tone. How can it still hurt this badly to hear her baby whimper?
The boy pushes her forward into Celty's arms and for a moment, there's peace. He can't have hurt her. He's letting her go. And then he smiles.
"Too late, Headless Rider."
Tsubomi is clutching the shadows of her clothes. Her breath is wrong. She's gasping. Choking? Celty wraps her arms around her, thinking it's just fear. But her fingers are wrapped in a sticky heat. There's blood. The choking makes sense suddenly. She's choking on blood. Her little girl is choking on blood. Her own blood. Celty murmurs empty promises as Tsubomi clings to her, falling when Tsubomi's knees buckle. She gives her empty promises as Tsubomi begs her to make it stop.
The clock reads 12AM.
She doesn't know how many times she's done this. It doesn't matter what she does. She followed her, closely, the first few days. Stayed with her others. Made her stay home days after that. But nothing stops it. Even the few times she's managed to protect the little light in her life, the clock has still woken her up, blazing 12AM in red as vicious as hellfire.
But this time is the worst. She's already whipped around, scythe drawn, to run Tsubomi's attempted killer through. She didn't know. She didn't know that Tsubomi was standing so close. She'd kept an eye on her even seconds before she'd moved to attack. And now Tsubomi is holding herself like she'll be able to keep herself together and there's blood all down her front and her hoodie is torn and--
And Celty catches her as she falls, no words able to come. What has she done?
She can't stop herself from crying as she holds the only thing that should have mattered in her arms, smoothing her hair, kissing her forehead, promising a dead body that this would never happen again.
"It will."
Celty wasn't prepared for the voice of a woman addressing her concerns so completely. She looks up and sees her--she's the size of a little girl and pale and dressed in black. The woman doesn't budge, not to help Tsubomi, not to address Celty.
"So long as you have her, it will happen again."
Celty mouths uselessly before she can grasp words again. "I don't--understand."
And the girl crouches, kneeling. "... It's natural for a monster to not want to be alone. But this girl was never yours."
"She's my daughter." The way she says the words out is almost venomous.
"And you'll be trapped in this day forever unless you let her go. The others need her--the ones like her."
Celty almost spits out that she's like her. They're family. They almost need each other. But then she remembers Kano's red-eyed salute at the hospital. Momo's eyes burning when Tsubomi had a panic attack and she and Celty couldn't get away from the crowd--all eyes locked onto the idol like she was a target, long enough to get Tsubomi inside. The Seto boy who Tsubomi said was teased for his red eyes and always knew what she was thinking when she came to school. Konoha, who Celty had only ever glanced watching the DVDs from that asshole, whose eyes always burned red.
The others like her.
"She'll be stuck in this cycle forever unless she can help protect them."
"She doesn't even know them! Who's going to protect her?! I can't let her go off to something like that!"
"You've killed your own daughter. If you don't want that to happen again, you have to let her go. Completely. I can pull you back long enough. You have to make sure she was never yours."
Celty stares at Tsubomi's face. It's almost like she's sleeping. She's watched her grow up--she's gotten taller, somehow even bonier. But she's gotten so much happier. Celty clutches her body like she herself will die if she lets Tsubomi go.
11:59. The clock reads 11:59. Celty doesn't have to open her eyes, because she doesn't have eyes. She has an appointment today. Thoughts are twisting in her mind. Her baby. Her little girl. Tsubomi.
The day she was adopted.
Celty goes through the motions, intent on taking her back. On protecting her better. On starting off on a better foot. But even as she stands at the desk, she hears them mutter about the girl who's a monster. Her fingers shake. She can't type.
The girl is dragged past her, one of the matrons holding tightly to her elbow. Her hair was so short back then. Now? She's scowling. She's angry. No, Celty knows what she is. She's terrified and humiliated and devastated that she's been through her twelfth home since her family died. Tsubomi stops, staring at the helmet, watching her own reflection. And then she's gone.
Never mind. I'm sorry for the trouble.
Three years alone. It would be three years alone. Every night, Kido's terrified face as she falls in the path of the truck burned into the eyes she no longer has. Just for the chance that maybe she'll be able to survive August 15th, 2015.
She turns away from the desk. She never sees Tsubomi Kido again.
It had been a normal day. Tsubomi had been getting better. She was feeling safer. For the first time in the three years they'd known each other, she told Celty she could go to work on the anniversary of the mansion fire. She hadn't been entirely happy that morning, but excited. She said she'd pick up groceries for dinner before Celty got home and she'd planned one of their shared favorite meals.
Celty had wanted to surprise her. Come home early, pick her up from the grocery store. Cook dinner together. It sounded like a good night--a way to keep an eye on Tsubomi while making it seem like she wasn't worried. It was the only way for Tsubomi to accept her concern. And she liked the way Tsubomi smiled when they cooked together. She was so happy.
Celty was waiting at the corner when Tsubomi came out of the supermarket. She didn't notice her mother there as she waited for the light to turn. Of course, she wasn't looking as the cars zoomed by. Just waiting for her own light to turn, Celty waited as patiently as she could.
And then a hand came from the crowd behind Tsubomi. A taller boy, standing only feet away, pushed as hard as he could.
And Celty will remember Tsubomi's terrified face as she fell foward, dropping her groceries. Her eyes are wide. She does everything she can to stop herself from moving but there's nothing she can do.
There's only a moment of complete terror before the truck hits her.
Celty is frozen for only a millisecond after Tsubomi stumbles. And then she screams, drowned out by the screech of the truck's breaks, urging her bike forward, traffic be damned. Just those few feet. She throws herself from it to her feet, only to hit the ground and pull Tsubomi into her arms.
But it's too late. They both know it as Tsubomi stares up, her face still frozen in shock. Her eyes are dull before Celty can even utter a reassurance.
She sits straight up in bed, gasping. The clock reads midnight in its bright red numbers. She has to get up and check on Tsubomi. She's asleep in the room next door. Celty shakes her head as she goes back to sleep. What a nightmare.
She resolves to show up to the store earlier. Just because of how badly that dream scared her. She can see Tsubomi at the register. She smiles with a wave when Tsubomi sees her. She loves the way her daughter lights up whenever she shows up by surprise.
Her happiness only lasts a brief moment before there's a commotion inside and Tsubomi whips around in shock. Celty sees him too late. The boy in black, holding a gun. It's trained on Tsubomi and Tsubomi alone. Before anyone else can move to stop him, he's squeezing the trigger and Tsubomi is crumpling. The cashiers can only try to hold her back as she rushes the store, screaming about her baby.
12 again. Celty clutches her chest and tries to insist on staying home today. But Tsubomi won't have it. She wants to be strong enough to get through August 15th.
So instead, Celty tails her. All day. As stealthily as she can. She follows Tsubomi to the park where she thinks it can best be described that they actually became a family.
She's sick when she sees the boy in black again. He approaches without fear, whispering something in Tsubomi's ear. She turns, as if she's scanning the area for Celty, but freezes when Celty approaches.
"Mom..." she whispers. Her voice is scared. How many times has Celty heard that tone. How can it still hurt this badly to hear her baby whimper?
The boy pushes her forward into Celty's arms and for a moment, there's peace. He can't have hurt her. He's letting her go. And then he smiles.
"Too late, Headless Rider."
Tsubomi is clutching the shadows of her clothes. Her breath is wrong. She's gasping. Choking? Celty wraps her arms around her, thinking it's just fear. But her fingers are wrapped in a sticky heat. There's blood. The choking makes sense suddenly. She's choking on blood. Her little girl is choking on blood. Her own blood. Celty murmurs empty promises as Tsubomi clings to her, falling when Tsubomi's knees buckle. She gives her empty promises as Tsubomi begs her to make it stop.
The clock reads 12AM.
She doesn't know how many times she's done this. It doesn't matter what she does. She followed her, closely, the first few days. Stayed with her others. Made her stay home days after that. But nothing stops it. Even the few times she's managed to protect the little light in her life, the clock has still woken her up, blazing 12AM in red as vicious as hellfire.
But this time is the worst. She's already whipped around, scythe drawn, to run Tsubomi's attempted killer through. She didn't know. She didn't know that Tsubomi was standing so close. She'd kept an eye on her even seconds before she'd moved to attack. And now Tsubomi is holding herself like she'll be able to keep herself together and there's blood all down her front and her hoodie is torn and--
And Celty catches her as she falls, no words able to come. What has she done?
She can't stop herself from crying as she holds the only thing that should have mattered in her arms, smoothing her hair, kissing her forehead, promising a dead body that this would never happen again.
"It will."
Celty wasn't prepared for the voice of a woman addressing her concerns so completely. She looks up and sees her--she's the size of a little girl and pale and dressed in black. The woman doesn't budge, not to help Tsubomi, not to address Celty.
"So long as you have her, it will happen again."
Celty mouths uselessly before she can grasp words again. "I don't--understand."
And the girl crouches, kneeling. "... It's natural for a monster to not want to be alone. But this girl was never yours."
"She's my daughter." The way she says the words out is almost venomous.
"And you'll be trapped in this day forever unless you let her go. The others need her--the ones like her."
Celty almost spits out that she's like her. They're family. They almost need each other. But then she remembers Kano's red-eyed salute at the hospital. Momo's eyes burning when Tsubomi had a panic attack and she and Celty couldn't get away from the crowd--all eyes locked onto the idol like she was a target, long enough to get Tsubomi inside. The Seto boy who Tsubomi said was teased for his red eyes and always knew what she was thinking when she came to school. Konoha, who Celty had only ever glanced watching the DVDs from that asshole, whose eyes always burned red.
The others like her.
"She'll be stuck in this cycle forever unless she can help protect them."
"She doesn't even know them! Who's going to protect her?! I can't let her go off to something like that!"
"You've killed your own daughter. If you don't want that to happen again, you have to let her go. Completely. I can pull you back long enough. You have to make sure she was never yours."
Celty stares at Tsubomi's face. It's almost like she's sleeping. She's watched her grow up--she's gotten taller, somehow even bonier. But she's gotten so much happier. Celty clutches her body like she herself will die if she lets Tsubomi go.
11:59. The clock reads 11:59. Celty doesn't have to open her eyes, because she doesn't have eyes. She has an appointment today. Thoughts are twisting in her mind. Her baby. Her little girl. Tsubomi.
The day she was adopted.
Celty goes through the motions, intent on taking her back. On protecting her better. On starting off on a better foot. But even as she stands at the desk, she hears them mutter about the girl who's a monster. Her fingers shake. She can't type.
The girl is dragged past her, one of the matrons holding tightly to her elbow. Her hair was so short back then. Now? She's scowling. She's angry. No, Celty knows what she is. She's terrified and humiliated and devastated that she's been through her twelfth home since her family died. Tsubomi stops, staring at the helmet, watching her own reflection. And then she's gone.
Never mind. I'm sorry for the trouble.
Three years alone. It would be three years alone. Every night, Kido's terrified face as she falls in the path of the truck burned into the eyes she no longer has. Just for the chance that maybe she'll be able to survive August 15th, 2015.
She turns away from the desk. She never sees Tsubomi Kido again.